


I'll be your hero

by orchid1



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4302492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchid1/pseuds/orchid1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avengers protect each other from some ....unusual threats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of light-hearted comedy (hopefully) about the team.

Tony has seen a lot of strange things in his life, and to be fair he’s either directly or indirectly responsible for most of them but the sight of the mild mannered Dr. Bruce Banner standing on top of his dining table clutching a table knife in hand and a newspaper in the other has to make the top ten, easily. 

“Hey Bruce,” Tony says cheerfully as he makes his way over to the coffee pot, because he can roll with the unexpected. It’s one of his best qualities. “Is this some new form of anger management?”

Bruce croaks something unintelligible at him.

“Huh?”

Bruce clears his throat and tries again, with the same result. Tony takes a closer look and realizes with a shock that the other man looks absolutely terrified. He feels his good humor leave immediately, “Are you okay? Were you attacked? JARVIS, scan the room for any intruders immediately and alert the others that there’s an emergency.”

Bruce finally succeeds in clearing his throat and says, “Behind you…spider!”

“Spider?” Tony turns around and sure enough, there’s a spider scuttling around on the counter. It looks small enough to fit on the tip of his finger. “Really, Bruce?”

Bruce shrugs, but makes no move to climb down off the table.

“Fine, I’ll get rid of it.” He reaches up and grabs the newspaper from Bruce’s grip and goes to swish it.

“No, don’t kill it please. I saw one get killed one once and these tiny baby spiders climbed off its back and filled the room.”

“Doc, this one looks like a baby itself.”

“Just please don’t.”

“Alright, feel free to stand up there as long as you want. My dining table is your dining table. And if any of the others object to your feet being in the same place as their food, that's their problem.”

“Could you maybe trap it or something?”

Tony obliges. He can be helpful too, another one of his nice qualities. 

Some of the color returns to Bruce's face and he climbs down somewhat unsteadily just as Thor bursts into the room, wielding the Mjölnir. He’s closely followed by Steve and Clint. Natasha follows a second later, in uniform and not a hair out of place. Tony makes a mental note to ask her how she always does that, possibly when she is in one of her rare mellow moods.

“The threat has been contained,” Tony announces proudly, indicating the upturned coffee cup to the group.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve winced as Clint viciously poked at his cereal yet again. He had already ground it to a fine powder, and it looked like he was attempting to crush it into microscopic particles now. He wondered if a comment about not playing with food would be well received. Of all the avengers, Steve actually found Clint the hardest to get a grasp on. He knew that the guy has an impressive military record, and was recruited by SHIELD because of it. 

At the beginning, Steve was surprised that the archer had been willing to follow Steve’s leadership. After all, if his time in the capsule was discounted ( and Steve thought it should be, it wasn’t as if he had been doing anything useful for those seventy years), Clint was over a decade older than him and had been a soldier a lot longer. But the archer had easily accepted his assigned role in the team, without any resentment or posturing. Steve had realized that the man liked being in the background, doing his work quietly and efficiently and resented public attention with a vengeance.

“Please stop,” Tony snapped at Clint from the other side of the table. 

Clint looked at him defiantly for a few seconds, and then sighed and put the spoon down.

“What’s got your panties in a twist, anyway?” Tony asked, downing the rest of his coffee.

“Fury wants me to do a press conference,” Clint said sullenly.

“So? Just stand in the background and glare at the reporters like you normally do.”

“A solo press conference.”

“Why?”

“Fury wants to keep us in the news, and after the first fifty or so interviews with you and Captain America, people are bored.”

“Bored by me? Impossible.” Tony smirks, “So why not Natasha? Or Bruce?”

“There aren’t any reporters willing to be in the same room as Natasha, not after the incident with the knives last month. And since Bruce isn’t employed by SHIELD, Fury can’t force him.”

“Right. I can see why this is a problem, you don’t come across as the most charismatic person on camera. Or anywhere, really.”

“I can’t help it that my resting face scares people.” Clint pointed out, picking up the spoon again. Steve gently twisted it out of his grasp and slid it to the other side of the table.

“No, your resting face makes you look like a pug. During press conferences you look well, still like a pug, but more like an evil psychotic pug.”

Steve wondered if it was possible that Tony had somehow been born without any sense of self preservation. Steve could spot at least five objects in Clint’s immediate vicinity that would make a very effective projectile. He intervened before Clint could launch one.

“When is the press conference?”

“Today, couple of hours from now.”

“I’ll come with you, if you want” Steve said. 

“I’d like nothing better, Cap. But Fury specified I’d have to be alone.”

“Don’t worry about it. Fury wants to keep us in the news? He’ll get what he wants.”  
…………………………………………………………………………  
Steve stepped out onto the stage with Clint, and is slightly amused when he hears a few sighs from the audience. He wasn’t surprised really. When Clint talked about him giving fifty interviews in the last three months, he had only been exaggerating slightly.

“Captain,” One of the braver reporters called out. “We weren’t expecting you.” The ‘please leave’ was left unspoken.

“Yes, I am aware that Hawkeye was supposed to be talking to you today. However, I feel that I cannot hold back the truth about myself any longer. I am afraid if I don’t say it now, I may not find the courage again.”

Most of the reporters look intrigued, and Clint nods at him gratefully as he slinks off the stage.

………………………………………………………………………  
Steve is at the gym when Tony finally catches up to him and dumps a dozen newspapers over his head.

“You are secretly in love with me? All the antagonism you show towards me is born out of suppressed feelings? What the hell, dude?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t think of anything else. On the bright side, the media is definitely not bored with us anymore.”

Tony sighed, “You are totally explaining this to Pepper.”


End file.
